I encourage my students to train mentally with little imagination exercises they can  do when they’re out and about. When you go to a place that isn’t your home look for the exits, look for improvised weapons. When in the presence of other people, gauge their distance and imagine how you might react if they were to suddenly attack you. Look at everybody’s hands. Above all, always be aware of your environment.

Last night, during class, one of my students told me that she had been doing these exercises all the time. Great. Then she asked me a really good question, “isn’t it a little bit paranoid?”

My answer to that, as you could guess, is no.

To me, paranoia is about unjustified fear. In contrast, we work these drills in part to instill a sense of confidence. We aim to remove fear. Imagining a threat is around every corner is paranoia. Asking yourself what you’d do in the event there was a threat around a corner is mental exercise. One is healthy, and the other is not.

Paranoia is particularly a problem if it interferes with your normal life. You may be safer locked in your basement all day – but that’s not healthy. Preparation might point out some changes to your routine which would make you safer, but shouldn’t have you cowering in bunker for the rest of your life.

I live in a really safe neighborhood and have been mocked for locking my doors and owning an alarm. Then somebody tried to break into my house. Locking my doors and turning an alarm on and off are not disruptive in any way to my enjoyment of life. In fact, those two things give me a peace of mind that help me enjoy life better.

I was talking with a woman in Boston where I suggested that women probably shouldn’t jog alone at night on the Esplanade. About 5 women had been attacked and sexually assaulted at gunpoint doing just that. She was indignant, “Well, I fell that women should be able to go any where they want.” Absolutley, I agree with that statement. And I should be able to walk into the roughest neighborhood in the country with $100 bills falling out of my pocket and expect no problems either – but that’s just not realistic. It’s simply about recognizing an existing danger and making better choices.

Sticking your head in the sand and pretending that nobody and nothing would ever harm you is as unrealistic as paranoia, and it’s probably more dangerous.

To me, the two aspects of what we refer to as paranoia (in a non-clinical sense) are unreasonable belief of danger and unreasonable fear of danger. In my classes, we try to inject as much reason as possible. We discuss recent crimes, local crime rates, the differences between TV crime and reality. Nearly all of my students have reported a greater sense of confidence which I equate to less fear. We do not teach paranoia here.

In fact, my new school slogan might be “preparation, not paranoia ™.”

Thumb through any martial arts magazine from any time in the past up to today and you’ll find a lot of advertising. You’ll see systems advertised as “The World’s Most Lethal Fighting System,” or teachers as, “The Deadliest Man Alive.” If you don’t look at martial arts magazines – I’m not kidding here, these are serious ads.

But what’s the truth? Are there really systems or teachers which have proven to be “the best.”

In a word: no.

In the world of advertising in the United States, false advertising is a form of fraud. So, how could a person say their fighting system is the best if it isn’t true?

You can thank a legal concept known as “puffery”. Yes, puffery is a real legal term. The Federal Trade Commission defines puffery as:

“A term frequently used to denote the exaggerations reasonably to be expected of a seller as to the degree of quality of his product, the truth or falsity of which cannot be precisely determined.”

The FTC expects 1000 different pizza shops in Boston to claim they have Boston’s best pizza. Why? because there is no objective measure of “best” in this sense. What you can’t do is make factual claims which are false. For example, if your pizza shop says its pizza is covered with real gold flakes and it isn’t – there will be in trouble.

The debate about martial arts systems is likely to go on as long as human beings populate the earth. In the 30s – everything was about Judo or Jujutsu. In the 40s and 50s Judo and Karate were big. In the 60s and 70s Kung Fu Made a big splash. Everything in the 80s was about Ninjas. In the 90s through now, MMA and military style combatives are all the rage. Who knows what’s next.

These trends are always driven by the media. From movies to the UFC. After the Stephen Seagal  movie, “Under Siege,” came out in the early 90s, everybody was teaching reverse grip knife fighting.

So expect a lot of puffery and look at it all with a grain of salt. My own business cards say, “Maine’s Best Self Defense Training.” Do I believe it to be true? Absolutely. Can I prove it’s true? Absolutlely not. There’s no way to measure it.

We do teach a comprehensive system based on concepts and principles designed specifically for self-defense with no sporting aspect.

I have examined many of these “ultimate” systems out there. Many of them have very good information. However – the ones with the very extreme advertising seem to suffer from the same problems. They are usually really limited, often focusing on a single or small group of techniques rather than training concepts or principles. If those techniques fail (and all techniques fail sometimes) you’re screwed.

Just be careful how you spend your hard-earned money, and try to get good in-person training.

Here’s my recipe for developing mental toughness. And no I haven’t been able to complete this myself … yet.

1. Walk into a quiet, unoccupied room and turn the lights off.
2. Sit down and close your eyes.
3. Do not move any part of your body – except for allowing the normal breathing mechanism to function
4. In your head, SLOWLY count to 5000 (if you count at a 1 second pace your time will be around 1 1/2 hours)
5. If you stray in your thinking or move at all, start the count over.

In the Western world, the practice of alchemy has a long history as predecessor to modern chemistry (it’s where we get the name), school shrouded in mystery, and practice persecuted as pseudoscience or blasphemy by the powers that be. Outwardly, alchemists main goal was to produce the philosopher’s stone, a substance rumored to be able to transmute lead to gold and to bestow eternal life. Inwardly, alchemy blended spirituality and science perfectly as alchemists sought knowledge of the workings of the material, mental, and spiritual worlds.

I refer to the philosophy of our system as martial alchemy because outwardly, we seek to transform gross body movements into efficient martial gold. Inwardly, we use the physical practice of martial arts as a bridge to spiritual and mental perfection.

From time to time, people get hinky when we mention the word “spiritual” because they frequently equate spirituality with religion. that’s fine but, as a rule, we stay clear of religion – everyone is entitled to their own and we do not ever preach religion. We might borrow examples from religious doctrines as a teaching tool, but our students are expected to come to their own truths about these things.

Training the spirit in martial arts, to us, means becoming acquainted with and integrating the  invisible parts of ourselves while becoming intimately more aware of our place in the universe. Spirit training, to us, builds a form of mental and emotional resilience or toughness where we can roll with the punches the universe sends us and take greater control of our own destiny. It involves accepting and working with the hidden parts of ourselves (often called the shadow). Spirit training also involves training the will or “fighting spirit”

Our training is integrated, so that training the body trains the mind and the spirit. I am reminded of my early training, sometimes doing the same set of footwork for hours on end. This accomplished several things. First, it imprinted the symbols of the foot movements into my unconscious brain, they became a part of me as new, more efficient neural pathways were developed. Second it required me to work through the enemies of boredom and fatigue. Every time the mind said quit, I would smile and tell myself I was loving the work.

This type of training builds mental toughness, something which is perfectly handy for for a professional warrior or someone who sits in a cubicle all day. Done correctly, the training will also make you smarter by creating newer and stronger neural-connections in the brain.

The philosopher’s stone in martial alchemy is the training.

Making a decision is a powerful mental process. In fact the word “decision” is a nominalization, the turning of a process verb into a noun. A decision is static – set in stone, unlike the process of deciding. This is an important distinction. When you decide something, you draw the proverbial line in the sand. You set a direction in stone. A decision will guide your actions in way stronger than beliefs or thoughts, because decisions will also dictate your thoughts and beliefs. And, yes, we can use this to our advantage.

Making a decision is a powerful tool. Like all tools, you can use it to build the house of your dreams, or you can misuse it and wind up cutting off your arm. Be careful what you decide. A decision is a mental lens which will help focus your thought process and lead you to appropriate action.

Here is a simple example: let’s say that you have decided to have Chinese food for dinner. What are the thoughts you will have? You will probably think about what dishes you may order, whether to take out or eat at the restaurant etc. You will probably not think about ordering a hamburger. What actions will you take? You might call and order, or drive to your favorite Chinese place. You will most likely not go to the drive through at McDonalds. This is quite a simplistic example, and may seem silly, but it illustrates a key point. Decision informs your actions mostly unconsciously while eliminating the actions that you don’t see as supporting your decision.

Contrast making a decision to considering something, or taking something into account, or thinking about something. These are important processes, but have none of the power of making a decision. If you are thinking about getting Chinese for dinner, that is very different from having made a decision to get Chinese for dinner right? When somebody says, “I’ll think about it,” that carries a very namby-pamby energy doesn’t it?

Now, how do we use this in the context of self-defense? We can decide, in advance what we will do if faced with certain threats. For example, I have decided that if the lives of my family are threatened I am going to attack the threat like a scalded spider-monkey on crack. I know enough not to pre-think what techniques, or weapons, or strategies to use – I simply know that I am going to fight with every once of ferocity I can muster and make the person or persons regret it. I have also decided that if someone points a weapon at me and tries to get me into a vehicle with them, I am going to run like hell.

I have heard stories from women who escaped rapists by deciding that the rapist would have rape them over their dead bodies – literally. At this point the women brought the fight to the rapist and escaped. I am not saying that this is a decision anyone must make or should make. You have to ask yourself if it came down to it – how hard are you willing to fight?

You can and should make new decisions when more or better data becomes available. If you drove to your favorite Chinese restaurant and it had burned down, you would have to make another decision. You should not be afraid to make new decisions if better ones present themselves. My sensei, Peter Freedman, taught me to, “never become a prisoner to your weapon.” It’s useful to think of the word weapon here loosely. When used for self defense your mind is a weapon. Never become a prisoner to your decisions, or you’ll find yourself sitting in  a burned-out Chinese restaurant wondering when the waiter is going to take your order.

In life, I have found that very few people are good at making decisions due to fear of failure. They shy away from making decisions because their self esteem is so caught up in never failing at anything. Instead of making decisions you get people saying things like, “I’d like to try that … someday.” They never move beyond their comfort zone. Let me tell you that I once tripled my yearly income within a couple of short weeks merely by making a decision to move outside my comfort zone. I am not special, I merely decided a change was in order.

Like unused muscles, your decision making faculty can be brought back to life through exercise. Not ready to squat 500 pound decisions? No problem, start small. Decide, as quickly as possible, what to wear tomorrow.

I challenge you right now to decide to be happy. That’s it, merely decide that you are going to be happy. Now, if you have truly decided to be happy one of two things will happen. 1. You will take small actions to change the things you are unhappy about, or 2. You will also make the decision to be happy no matter what is going on. I prefer the latter, and it doesn’t preclude you from changing things at all. Since I prefer not to deal with negative, grumpy, try to bring everyone else down types of people, I hope you’ll accept my challenge.

One thing I have learned about really successful people is that they make  informed decisions very quickly. I remember watching a show that had interviews with the friends and family members of young successful pop stars. Every single one of then said basically the same thing – that these pop stars were 100% focused on becoming successful musicians. They made a decision very early in life and it guided their actions 100%. Were there setbacks and “failures” along the way? You bet. Heck, Donald Trump’s casino declared bankruptcy – but the guy is still rich and famous.

Make a small decision right now, I don’t care what it is – decide what you are going to have for lunch. Do you feel how powerful that is. Think about what other empowering decisions you can make right now.

It’s been said that the hardest part of martial arts training is getting into the car. I have seen this first hand when 11 people tell me they are coming to train and 2 show up. I don’t take it personally when people tell me they were “busy” or there was “traffic” or whatever. I know it really isn’t about all that – it’s difficult to drag your butt to training sometimes, particularly when you haven’t developed the mental toughness to push past a hard day at work and train anyway.

To get good at martial arts you also need to train solo. There is something about working on the mental and physical aspects of martial arts alone which pushes things around in your brain and makes them stick. You do not get good in class, class is the catalyst that starts the reaction – you get good in solo practice and reflection.

I want to offer up my couch potato plan for getting good at your martial art – even if you think you don’t have time.

The first part of the plan is to make an enjoyable game out of finding hidden time. One thing I suggest is to do some kind of training during TV commercials. If you watch 1 hour of network television a day (and most people watch more), you’ll have at least 20 minutes of training time. You could exercise during that time, practice a kata, throw some punches, whatever.

Like I said, make finding time an enjoyable game – even a couple of minutes here and there really add up.

Another TV related training method which helps reaction time is to do a technique (such as throwing a punch) while watching a show – as quickly as possible each time the scene or camera angle changes on the show. This is a good way to train the perception without a partner.

The next suggestion is to utilize waiting time, and I have two ways to do this. 1. Carry around a martial arts related book with you whenever you think you might have wait time and read. 2. Practice your techniques, or kata, or whatever in your mind without moving. Suggestion #2 will get you good incredibly fast.

When I lived in Boston I would frequently take the subway or a bus. While sitting there, I would  mentally go over foot movements, angles, drills, etc. It really helped me to improve. The mind has a hard time differentiating between vividly imagined practice and real practice. I probably got an extra 5 hours of practice a week in just doing this.

My next suggestion is to find sneaky ways to train. Make all of your movements martial movements without giving away what you are doing. For example, I use tai-sabaki (body shifting) movements to walk around obstacles. I am aware of how I open and close doors and do it in a way that could be translated into a strike or a throw. Doing this will help internalize your movements and burn them into muscle memory. Again – make a game out of it – be creative.

Next is walking around training. When walking around amongst other people mentally note their distance. Notice how you feel as they get closer or move farther away. What are they doing with their hands. If they are standing, do they have good balance or poor balance. Are there any bulges in their clothing that may be weapons. If they had bad intentions, how would they have to move to attack. Do this without staring at anybody. Train yourself to use peripheral vision and short non-threatening glances.

Finally is mental scenario training. Whenever you go anywhere – including changing rooms in your house, scan the room. Look for exits and notice if there are any obstacles there. What in the room could be used as cover or as an improvised weapon? What would you do if armed people came in intent on doing you harm. While you do this pay attention to your breathing and heart-rate. Keep your breathing slow and through the nose.

The important thing is to make these things as enjoyable as possible. If you do, it will be easier to continue doing them.

As a child, I was subjected to numerous surgeries, the most severe was the amputation of one of my feet. Growing up with a lower limb prosthesis was challenging and often painful experience. As a boy, my parents and several of my teachers noticed that I seemed to have a fairly high pain tolerance. My mother knew something was really wrong with me if I ever complained about it.

I don’t think I was born with some kind of abnormal neurology where I actually experience pain less than others but, out of necessity, I developed a strategy for dealing with pain which was sometimes constant and acute. It is possible, through drugs or conditioning, to actually feel less pain. I am not a huge fan of this idea in general as pain is an indicator that something is wrong – you are injured, sick, or about to be injured. I will share one technique with you to actually lessen the sensation of pain. The main thing I want to share with you is method I have used since childhood to feel the pain, but not let it bother you.

It should go without saying that nothing here is meant to replace medical or psychological advice of any kind, nor is meant to treat, diagnose, cure, or do anything to any disease or medical condition. If you try any of this stuff, you promise never to sue me for anything ever.

One of the main problems that people experience when they feel pain is that they complain about it. They complain to others, and they complain internally to themselves. “Oh man this hurts, I can’t believe this.” The issue with this is that we create this vicious cycle of emotion where we get more and more upset – to sustain this – the mind amplifies the pain experience. They also project the mind into the past (memory) and future (imagination) to add energy to their emotions. This can descend into a serious state of self-pity, a very low level form of grief that taints everything we experience. I’ve been there too. I remember having severe hip and limb pain that didn’t subside for about 6 months – even with a high pain tolerance it really put me at the end of my rope.

The way to counter this is to not mentally judge or put labels on the pain. Do not go into a memory or project anything into the future. You have to get into exactly what you are feeling now in this moment. Slow down your breath and just experience the energy of whatever you’re feeling. Don’t label the feeling, don’t judge it as good or bad, become just an observer. Go into it with your mind and try to locate exactly where the sensation originates and where it ends, what shape it is, if it moves or is static. Play with it a little bit.

It’s a bit difficult to describe it more than that, but this is essentially what I taught myself to do as a child. Children have the advantage of being curious about everything. My 3 year old twins ask me about a million questions a day. Detached curiosity can keep you from whipping up your feelings about whatever you’re feeling.

To get a bit more advanced, once you become aware of what you are feeling, without labeling or judging  recognize that whatever you are feeling is an energy inside your body. From physics and spirituality we know that everything is energy. Just allow yourself to appreciate the energy, appreciate, accept, and even love that this energy exists again without label or judgment. Then, give yourself some love and approval simply for appreciating the energy. This will bring you into a very peaceful and present state of mind. Do this as often as you wish – even if you are feeling good.

This is a very powerful centering meditation.

Making pain disappear

This is a technique I learned from Hale Dwoskin, author of the Sedona Method (buy it an read it and read it again). From physics we know that all matter consists of a bit of organized energy whizzing around, but is mostly empty space. There is vastly more empty space than “stuff” in every atom and every molecule in existence.

Ask yourself the following two questions slowly and pause a little while your awareness shifts after asking them.

First, can you simply become aware of any pain or discomfort you are feeling in this moment?

Then, can you simply become aware of the space that surrounds and penetrates that area of the body which has no feeling at all?

Now, if there is any remaining discomfort, just repeat the first two questions slowly and get in touch with what you are feeling in the moment.