Today I was inspired by this story about a local grandmother who single-handedly fought off two armed home invaders. I was inspired because this story highlights how untrue many statements are that I’ve heard from martial arts and self defense ‘experts’.

Let’s break down a few myths that I’ve been trying to debunk for years:

Self Defense Myths Perpetuated By Experts

1. You can’t fight multiple attackers
2. You need years of training to defend yourself
3. All fights wind up as a wrestling match on the ground
4. You can’t fight armed people without getting killed
5. Untrained people just freeze up
6. You have to be in great shape to defend yourself

In my experience, most instructors out there get their ideas about self defense from the same place most people do – movies and the TV. They also tend to think in absolutes like “never”, and “always”.

Here’s an absolute that makes sense: “Every situation is different”.

Here’s what I would rather hear:

1. Defending yourself from  multiple opponents is hard, but it’s definitely been done and can be done.
2. Untrained people defend themselves successfully every day. Training makes you better at defending yourself.
3. It’s a good idea to learn how to disengage if you’re ever grounded. Some self defense situations wind up with both opponents on the ground, but you don’t want to go there if at all possible.
4. Weapons are always to be considered dangerous. Sometimes armed assailants wound or kill their targets, but this isn’t a definite outcome.
5. Sometimes people freeze up, even trained people. But there are a range of reactions including fight or flight that are more common. Most people are not good at predicting what would happen to them or others under duress.
6. Fitness is a definite advantage in self defense situations. However, unfit people can be skilled. Skilled and unskilled people defend themselves successfully every day. If your self defense training requires you to be in peak physical condition to execute, it might be less effective when you are sick, injured, or elderly.

You do not need to be some kind of commando trained lethal weapon to defend yourself from most common situations. Real self defense is not about fighting like you see it in the movies.

There are many reasons one could study a martial art: for sport, for exercise, to relax, build self discipline, or because you think the costumes are cool. All reasons are valid. In my experience, most people start training in martial arts because at least one of their goals is to learn how to defend themselves. All martial arts will do this to some degree.

Do not be fooled by the haters with low self esteem on the Internet who need to feel good about themselves by insulting other systems, or teachers. Lack of respect is a lack of self-discipline and it is a clear sign of mental weakness. Even if you dislike what another martial art teaches, keep your mouth shut. Those who speak out on internet message boards under the guise of “educating others” are being ridiculous, since only their fellow chairborne-commando haters read those things.

Self-defense (or self-defence if your British) training, ultimately, is not about style or system or what you wear or what you call it. It isn’t even about ultimate deadly unstoppable techniques culled from the jungles of some war-torn country by special operations commandos. That stuff is exciting, but it’s mostly marketing puffery.

True self-defense training is about one thing only (in the very humble opinion of this author) – transforming the individual into someone with skills and attributes to survive and escape danger. And, no two human beings will have identical skills or attributes, so throw out the silly notion of the ultimate best system on the planet to turn you into a superhuman fighting-machine.

In computer programming two skilled programmers can create exactly the same software using two different languages, two different development processes, and deploy them onto two different platforms. Which one is the “best”? Neither – just live with the fact that in life there are no absolutes. Thinking things are either all good or all bad is lazy thinking which is unbecoming of a true martial artist.

First, let’s talk about attributes that will help you survive a violent attack. In my opinion attributes are more important than skills.

Speed, endurance, coordination, agility, and strength are physical attributes which will help you whether you choose to run away or stand and fight. The physical training of most MMA fighters is simply incredible and gives them the advantages that conditioning brings. Pain tolerance, and the ability to carry on when injured relates to resilience. Boxers and special forces soldiers have excellent resilience due to their training regimens. Timing and awareness of distance almost always trump speed and other physical attributes. Weapons arts like kenjutsu, Kali, Arnis, silat, and fencing are incredible to imparting this level of skill.

The key attribute, more important than all the others is awareness. The ability to be aware of your physical surroundings will mitigate most attacks and make you less of a target. No skill or attribute will work if you are completely unaware of an attack until it lands. Snipers, drones, and smart bombs are effective weapons of war in part because they are hard to detect. You cannot defend against what you can’t detect.

So, a lot of self-defense oriented training will be geared towards developing advantageous attributes. In our school, due to our traditions, we look at timing and angles, off-balancing, body alignment and awareness as primary attributes. We teach understanding of concepts and principles. Here is the important thing – other schools have different foci and are completely effective.

All martial-arts schools tech skills. Skills are the technical lessons, the specific vocabulary with which you express your attributes. A skill may be punching, parrying, blocking, etc. Many schools are technique-oriented, having hundreds or thousands of techniques. Some may teach forms, some drills. All are equally valid teaching methods.

Our school focuses on teaching self-defense. What that means for us is the following:

• We focus on building attributes and understanding that we have found effective for real-world self-defense
• We throw away dogma, tradition, and ceremony where it doesn’t suit is
• We place less emphasis on archaic weapons than on modern weapons
• We focus on what happens to the human body and mind under extreme stress
• We do our best to train honestly, yet safely so we don’t develop bad habits
• We strive to understand local self-defense law and how it applies to us

This is not to say that our school or our system is better than anyone else’s. It isn’t. It is the best school and system for me and the people who choose to train with me because it makes sense to us, and we feel we can dedicate ourselves to the training. The best system for you is going to be the one you can stick with and train in for a long time.

Have a look at this frightening video of a police officer getting into a confrontation. After being sprayed with pepper spray, shot in the abdomen, and repeatedly hit – this guy is still attacking the officer.

It’s not my intent in sharing this video to criticize the officer’s actions after the fact. I wasn’t there, I don’t have the officer’s training, and my understanding of the situation comes entirely from this short video.

However, I have had people say things to me like, “If you really want to teach people self defense, teach them how to use a gun.” I would like to address that by pointing out, via this video, what can go wrong.

1. The first shot misses at point blank range.
   One study I’ve read shows that police officers hit their target around 17% of the time. Most gun fights happen at extremely close range. This is not a criticism of police training in any way. The issue is that firing a pistol accurately while under attack is extremely difficult. The body’s natural stress response makes complex motor skills much harder than many imagine.
2. The second shot hits the assailant but doesn’t stop him.
   Most people get their ideas about self defense from the movies. Gun people frequently talk about “stopping power” of their handguns. The truth is that the only sure way to stop someone with a gun is to shut down the central nervous system. That’s unlikely to happen if you follow your training and aim for center mass. Given point number one above it’s really hard to aim for and hit a target like the brain stem. Even if struck in the heart, an assailant may have a few seconds or a few minutes to continue an attack.
3. The third time the police officer tries to fire – his gun jams.
   Guns are mechanical, they can and do jam. All kinds of things can happen.
4. The officer’s pepper spray has no effect.
   Some people have a relative immunity to pepper spray. Wind and environmental factors also can limit the effect of pepper spray. Pepper spray, in an enclosed space, can effect the person spraying as well as the intended target. With pepper spray you still have to hit a target (see #1 above).

Let me be clear, guns, knives, clubs, and pepper spray are all good tools and have their uses. When you can access them, employ them properly, and they have their intended effect – they are brilliant. However, a lot can go wrong at any stage. Unarmed self-defense using gross motor movements that will work in a stressed state should be the cornerstone of self-defense training.

Everybody needs to train in self defense and the sooner the better.

Living in a relatively low-crime area like Southern Maine, it may seem strange to recommend that every single person here get self defense training. However, it’s not really such a strange idea, and it’s an idea that may save lives.

Damian Ross of The Self Defense Company wrote, “not everybody needs martial arts, but everybody needs self defense.”

Mr. Ross draws a distinction between self defense training and martial arts training, it’s an important distinction I’ve written about before. Here’s why I agree:

1. You cannot predict if and when you might be a target of a violent crime.
   Even if you live a low-risk lifestyle in a low-risk area, you never can be sure when you’ll cross paths with a violent criminal. Home invasions happen in areas, urban, rural, rich and poor. People are mugged going to and from their cars. People  are assaulted by emotionally disturbed strangers, acquaintances, and people they work with.Just because it hasn’t happened to you doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen to you.
2. The only time self defense training does any good is before you need it.
   It’s kind of a no-brainer, but I’ve had students sign up after a violent encounter. If you asked them if they wished they got self defense training earlier they all would answer “yes”
3. Proper training helps in a violent encounter.
   I’ve written about the danger of buying too heavily into statistics, but every study I’ve seen, compared with anecdotal evidence shows that self defense training helps. In fact one study showed that women who took an anti-mugging program were less likely to even have someone attempt to mug them. I would probably attribute this to increased awareness along with confidence that comes with training.
4. Preparing for the worst is a smart thing.
   Nobody would question the intelligence of fire drill training conducted in our public schools, yet fatalities from school fires virtually never happen (unless you go back to the 1950s). Violent crime occurs every 35 seconds in the U.S. and nobody is immune. The best preparation is for people to learn to take care of themselves. We buckle our seat-belts, go to the dentist, change the batteries in the fire alarm, so why not get self defense training?
5. You are ultimately responsible for your own safety.
   If you are ever attacked by a violent criminal it will likely happen when you are alone. It most likely won’t happen within earshot of a police officer. The attacker will not wait patiently while you call 911, or while you rummage in a bag for pepper spray. Your attacker will not try to mug you from across the street giving you plenty of opportunity to run.
6. Most criminals are looking for an advantage.
   Crime works along economic rules. Criminals make risk/reward choices about victims. They want to minimize their risk of getting caught or hurt, while maximizing their reward of getting away with their goal. By training you can become “too much trouble” for many criminals. The vast majority of criminals will give up when resisted, and those that don’t you really need to worry about damaging. Violence against other criminals is prevalent because criminals won’t go to the police. Violence against women, children and elders is prevalent because they are seen as easy targets. However, everybody looks like an attractive target to somebody. Studying self defense can be a deterrent to crime, and thus proactive.

So, what’s the objection?

My opinion about the real reason more people don’t train is that it is related to an almost universal human fear. At least 85% of people will measure a phobic psycho-physiological response in the presence of interpersonal human conflict. PTSD is much higher in soldiers who experienced face to face combat than in airmen who dropped bombs in combat. We seem to have a built in mechanism to get along.

Psychologically, it’s been proposed, that when we are attacked (verbally or physically) it can symbolize another human being who doesn’t value our identity. Identity is a complex psychological construct, but we’ll just say that it’s who we think we are at the core. A threat to identity is a threat to not just our life, but who we are at the core.

I believe that a lot of people avoid training in self-defense because they are in denial and are uncomfortable accepting the fact that another human being may threaten their very being. As someone who has had his life threatened by a criminal, it is an uncomfortable thing to accept. However, moving past that and taking responsibility for your own well-being is empowering.

Countering surface objections:

Here are some of the regular things I hear from people when talking about training.

I don’t have time
This is the granddaddy of excuses and it’s BS. You can find time to train. What you’re really saying is that it isn’t a priority. How much TV do you watch in a week? How often do you go out and socialize? How much time do you spend on the computer or playing games. Can you spare an hour or two a week? Of course you can

It’s too expensive
We’re all feeling the effects of the economy these days. There is self defense training everywhere at a number of price points (including free). And, you don’t always get what you pay for – I mostly teach for free. Sometimes schools or police departments offer training at a very low price. Ask yourself this, “What if I were injured in a violent crime tomorrow, what would I have to lose then?”

I don’t have any experience
I get this all the time, and it makes me chuckle a little. Nobody had any experience before they began. The time to begin is now.

I’m out of shape
I have news for you, a violent criminal doesn’t care. You probably need training more than anybody. Real self defense training does not rely solely on athleticism. It helps, for sure, but an attacker is generally not looking for someone in the best shape to scrap with. And, self defense training will provide at least some exercise which everybody needs.

I don’t have years to train
This one is also kind of funny, I don’t have time to be good so I’ll stay lousy. The reality is that real self defense can be learned quickly, while martial arts take a lifetime to master. Our own military hand to hand combat instruction is extremely short but effective for the mission. They don’t have 30 years to prepare troops for combat.

So, wouldn’t now be a great time to begin your training?

It’s been said that the hardest part of martial arts training is getting into the car. I have seen this first hand when 11 people tell me they are coming to train and 2 show up. I don’t take it personally when people tell me they were “busy” or there was “traffic” or whatever. I know it really isn’t about all that – it’s difficult to drag your butt to training sometimes, particularly when you haven’t developed the mental toughness to push past a hard day at work and train anyway.

To get good at martial arts you also need to train solo. There is something about working on the mental and physical aspects of martial arts alone which pushes things around in your brain and makes them stick. You do not get good in class, class is the catalyst that starts the reaction – you get good in solo practice and reflection.

I want to offer up my couch potato plan for getting good at your martial art – even if you think you don’t have time.

The first part of the plan is to make an enjoyable game out of finding hidden time. One thing I suggest is to do some kind of training during TV commercials. If you watch 1 hour of network television a day (and most people watch more), you’ll have at least 20 minutes of training time. You could exercise during that time, practice a kata, throw some punches, whatever.

Like I said, make finding time an enjoyable game – even a couple of minutes here and there really add up.

Another TV related training method which helps reaction time is to do a technique (such as throwing a punch) while watching a show – as quickly as possible each time the scene or camera angle changes on the show. This is a good way to train the perception without a partner.

The next suggestion is to utilize waiting time, and I have two ways to do this. 1. Carry around a martial arts related book with you whenever you think you might have wait time and read. 2. Practice your techniques, or kata, or whatever in your mind without moving. Suggestion #2 will get you good incredibly fast.

When I lived in Boston I would frequently take the subway or a bus. While sitting there, I would  mentally go over foot movements, angles, drills, etc. It really helped me to improve. The mind has a hard time differentiating between vividly imagined practice and real practice. I probably got an extra 5 hours of practice a week in just doing this.

My next suggestion is to find sneaky ways to train. Make all of your movements martial movements without giving away what you are doing. For example, I use tai-sabaki (body shifting) movements to walk around obstacles. I am aware of how I open and close doors and do it in a way that could be translated into a strike or a throw. Doing this will help internalize your movements and burn them into muscle memory. Again – make a game out of it – be creative.

Next is walking around training. When walking around amongst other people mentally note their distance. Notice how you feel as they get closer or move farther away. What are they doing with their hands. If they are standing, do they have good balance or poor balance. Are there any bulges in their clothing that may be weapons. If they had bad intentions, how would they have to move to attack. Do this without staring at anybody. Train yourself to use peripheral vision and short non-threatening glances.

Finally is mental scenario training. Whenever you go anywhere – including changing rooms in your house, scan the room. Look for exits and notice if there are any obstacles there. What in the room could be used as cover or as an improvised weapon? What would you do if armed people came in intent on doing you harm. While you do this pay attention to your breathing and heart-rate. Keep your breathing slow and through the nose.

The important thing is to make these things as enjoyable as possible. If you do, it will be easier to continue doing them.

The purposefully provocative title of this post is meant to point out a “truth” about martial arts and self defense. In Ketsugo Jujutsu we say that the three possible ways to finish a defense are to kill, cripple, or control. We say that killing is for soldiers, crippling for bodyguards, and control is for the police. This is a mnemonic and, as such, is simplified.

The point I’d like to make is that untrained, unskilled people have been killing each other for as long as human beings have walked upright. In fact untrained animals do it all the time. Any person can pick up a rock and smash another with it.

Granted, in martial arts training, we can learn more elegant ways to take apart the human body, we can do it in a way that we are less likely to also be hurt, and we can do it with style. The most difficult thing to teach and learn is to control an opponent, particularly if that opponent is determined to hurt you.

When I was in college, I once observed the campus police try to evict a drunken gentleman from the steps of a building. First they tried to ask him to leave – he merely ignored them. Then they tried to grab his wrist and put him into some kind of come-along or cuff him (not sure which because it didn’t get that far) – her merely sat there and wriggled a little bit slipping their grasp. The guy was like an oiled-up jellyfish. Finally, two officers grabbed the guy under his shoulders and slammed him on his face on the pavement – giving him a bloody, perhaps broken, nose. At that, the man began to struggle while it took there of them to get handcuffs on him and get him into an ambulance  – to go get his face checked out.

Think about that, a barely resisting drunken gentleman eluded an attempt to control him by 3 able-bodied, well-trained, experienced police officers until the level of violence got ramped up.  Whether or not the level of force was justified is almost irrelevant here. These cops have a conflicting duty – to protect the campus from crime, and from liability. Control without injury is difficult against any kind of resistance.

Almost every time we hear about the use of lethal force in self defense the question comes up – either from the media, ignorant people, or from our legal system, “did you have to do that, couldn’t you have used less force?” It almost never fails when police officers are forced to shoot somebody that someone asks, “did they have to shoot to kill, couldn’t they have just shot him in the leg?” This line of questioning stems from an unrealistic viewpoint highly influenced by the media. We see gunslingers on TV shooting the guns out of people’s hands, this is TV magic not reality. In order not to miss their target (which they do 83% of the time under stress), the police and military are taught to shoot at center mass – the largest part of the body. Asking someone under extreme duress to shoot at a small, probably moving limb is asking them to miss nearly 100% of the time and put their lives in great jeopardy.

People who have martial arts training are also frequently held to a different standard to those who are not. We are sometimes expected to defend ourselves with less force than others who are not trained. A well rounded approach to martial arts training should contain tactics that kill, cripple, and control – but again, controlling someone who is intent on doing you harm is nearly impossible.

Realistic self defense training includes techniques which are very very likely to create an injury to facilitate an escape. Tactics which rely on simply causing an opponent pain are highly unreliable and less effective on opponents who are under the influence of chemical intoxicants, adrenaline, or have some kind of pathology making them pain resistant.

Aikido is arguably the most gentle martial art on the planet, one of it’s goals is self defense without injuring your opponent. Watch people doing Aikido and ask yourself what would happen to the uke (one receiving the technique) if he didn’t know how to breakfall, or if he landed on a curb or up against a steel signpost. Aikido is very high level martial art and, from observation, it takes a very long time to get good at it. Even then, there is no guarantee of injury-free self-defense.

I am a big fan of action movies, specifically martial arts action movies. I have been my whole life. Anyone who has some training in a Reality Based Martial Art (RBMA) knows that the movies and TV have little to do with real self defense. Unfortunately many people without training, including those who shape our laws do not get that.I encounter people all the time who get their complete thought process about self-defense and martial arts training from the media.

As I sit here writing this, I am watching the thrilling movie Ninja Assassin. It’s an exciting movie with highly stylized violence, and feats of supernatural martial arts. In one scene, the hero has to assassinate a very large gentleman. The hero uses a knife and stabs the man in the carotid artery, femoral artery, and through the brachial artery – the big guy keeps coming through spurting blood. At one point he even says, “it will take more than that to stop me.”

This leads me to a persistent myth I see which is common to a lot of media – the Juggernaut or unstoppable villain. As a plot device a Michael Meyers or Jason Vorhees who can get shot, stabbed, drowned, electrocuted and still keep on coming provides excitement. The reality is that Juggernaut just doesn’t exist.

In reality, if your carotid or femoral artery get’s severed – chances are you will lose consciousness in seconds and your life in a very few minutes. I don’t care how tough you are, how muscular, what drugs you’re on, or how psychotic you are – there are rules you’re body is going to follow. There are people, through muscular conditioning, training, and other factors for whom typical punches and kicks are going to be less effective. Boxers condition against knockout punches and body blows.

In our system of Jujutsu we learn common anatomical weaknesses so that we can attack them and it doesn’t matter who the attacker is. For example, you cannot condition your eyes to be impervious to attack in any way, nor can you condition your trachea. Joints can be attacked in certain ways – requiring very little pressure to cause breaking or dislocation.

Part of our philosophy is that good self-defense doesn’t rely solely on causing pain in an opponent (as some are resistant to pain) and shouldn’t require a lot of strength, speed, or flexibility. These things are all advantages, but are fallible.

All martial arts and systems of self defense will, in some way deal with range. Range, in this sense, means the proximity of your opponent, his ability to attack you, and your ability to attack him. Many systems have a ton of different ranges, kicking, grappling, striking, weapons etc. While there is nothing wrong with this, I prefer to simplify. Upon simplification, we can then internalize the principles and realize spontaneous appropriate response.

Let me make this abundantly clear: Until you internalize and intuitively understand range, memorizing a bunch of ranges will be no good in combat. Knowing that your striking range is 28 inches is no good, if you can’t instantly look at your opponent and understand whether or not you can strike without conscious thought. There is only one cure, simplification and practice.

I have simplified my range system into three basic ranges – long, medium, and short range. Why? Because at each of these ranges – choice of tactics changes. Breaking these ranges down any further makes no difference to the way we practice. Here are my definitions.

Long range: At long range, none of your body parts (or your opponent’s) are immediately available to attack without closing the distance. In other words, for your opponent to attack you, he will need to move towards you in some way.

Medium range: Medium range begins where, if you and your opponent were to outstretch your arms, your fingertips would touch. Since every part of the body can attack or be attacked, we are no longer in long range. The limit of medium range is reached when you are able to touch the torso of your opponent.

Short range: Once you are able to touch an opponents body or head area, you are in short range. Short range would include grappling and close combat distance in other systems.

Now, I can hear many people saying – “but that would mean that each range changes as different weapons are used.” You bet. Long range for a sword is different from a kick or a punch. Missile weapons, such as firearms, are really the only exceptions that don’t fit well into this system.

So the next criticism might be, “well then you have to memorize a bunch of ranges for different weapons.” Yes, and no, but mostly no. Remember, the idea is to have a little bit of knowledge and then internalize the principles. You need to intuitively know when you’re inside medium range of someone holding a stick, knife or broken bottle. There are no shortcuts here, you must practice with opponents empty handed and holding different weapons. And, by the way, you would be surprised at the number of sword and machete attacks in the U.S. every year, so don’t count out long blades even for reality-based training.

Your tactics at each of these ranges will depend on your style. If you want to learn ours, you need to come train with us.

From terrorists, to drunken and disorderly passengers, to simply the unruly – air crews continue to face threats to the safety of themselves and their passengers. With the ultimate responsibility of the safety of everyone on a plane, I’d like to see airline crew-members regularly trained in combative self-defense and defensive tactics.

I am aware that some training is done, and airline crews carry handcuffs and other restraints and have training in how to use them.  I do believe that regular training is necessary to update skills as well as to keep them in muscle memory.

Here are some of my recommendations for the makeup of this training:

• A full range of force from restraint to lethal and crippling tactics
• Use of improvised weapons with objects available in all air cabins
• Group tactics – for cooperative self defense with other crew members
• Practice in a simulated cabin  – since space and terrain will dictate tactics
• Defense against weapons – edged, impact, firearms, and thrown
• Arrest and come-along techniques to remove passengers from seats and escort them safely to different locations
• Concept and principle based training with focus on most statistically likely self defense scenarios.

Again, the most important element is regular and consistent training to ensure a high skill level. Single seminars are just not enough for the level of threat involved.